1/7/12--198.1

I weighed in this morning. Saturdays, since being on Weight Watchers while in law school, is my official weigh in day. After 1 month on the Paleo Diet with some exercise, I've lost over 8 lbs. I was teetering up and down the scale before officially committing to Paleo after the holidays and before the new year, so a true measure of my weight is not possible. My initial goal when starting this blog was to get below 200 lbs. I wanted to get to pre-third-baby-weight, which was 198 and then to pre-husband weight which is 150.  I finally feel like I am on my way to pre-husband weight.

Well, after 3 years since having Lootie, I've finally reached my first goal. I am relieved. I am giddy. I am ready to conquer the world. Truthfully, I am just happy to be able to be out of the 200s. I feel like the Biggest Loser.

But now that I've accomplished my first goal of getting out of the 200s, I have been thinking about the next goal. I am now taking the weight loss in 10 lb increments, or is that reductions(?). Well, in this case, I have 8.1 lbs to lose until my next goal. I want to get down to 190 lbs. How will I accomplish that loss?

Eating:

• continue eating Paleo: no grains, no white stuff, no sugar (not even honey, maple syrup, or stevia, no caffeine, no alcohol (I've never been a drinker)
• Drink lots of water.
• Eat leaner meats and go organic, grass fed, so I can reduce the amount of hormones and unnatural feeding of cows, pigs, and chickens.
• cook more often at home.  I am considering buying a Sous Vide.  I will be buying a slow cooker next week, so I can ensure to cook while I am at work.  I hate the rushing around like a mad woman when I get home with 3 little ones and Nana; asking me a million questions and wanting a lot more of me than I can give.  The protein will be done, and I just then have to worry about the sides.

Exercise:

• Kettlebell/Plyometric Tabatas (KPT):  at least 3 times a week.  I wrote up 4 routines that include 4 sets of kettlebells and plyometrics.  I want to master the kettlebell, so I can increase the weight.  Building strong muscles is important in Paleo or in any lifestyle because of the fat burn while at rest.
• Cardio: use my machines at least 4 times a week as a supplement to the KPT workouts or instead of the KPT program.
• Do a cardio video 2 times a week, so I don't feel guilty about the fact that I've abandoned them for KPT.
• Use my pedometer to ensure that I get 10000 steps a day when at "rest".  The sedentary lifestyle of an attorney is not good for my bottom.

Self Care:

• Taking time to be still and present with myself.  I want to be able to go to bed when I am tired and not up and awake for others.  I want to read a book, if my mind would cooperate, and not multitasking a million things.
• Doing spa treatments or massage as rewards for losses and continued commitment, so that I don't turn to food as a reward.
• Keep going to therapy to work through my "issues" that have caused me to gain weight over the years so that I may finally adopt this eating Paleo and exercise as a way of life for the rest of my life.  
• Not turn to food as a crutch for my emotions.  Think through every forkful and every meal.  Food is not comfort; it is for fuel.

I plan to post a few times a week because I have a lot to say about this process.  I am sure many of you are thinking that depriving oneself of a complete food category is unsustainable (I'll have a post about that), but I stopped consuming milk over 2 years ago because it hurt me, and I am going to do it with grains and sugar because they hurt me too.

How do you reward yourself when you've reached a goal?

Cravings . . . are gone.

I've gone Paleo for the last 4 weeks (off and on).  However, I just returned from vacation and have lost weight.  Even with eating out daily doses of decadent food, I've lost weight.  I won't reveal the number just yet, so as to ensure that it is all really happening.  

Before Paleo, by the end of everyday, all I ever wanted was a nice sugary latte with soy and a large cookie.  It was my comfort.  It truly enveloped me in a warm hug and made me feel calm and collected.  For about 2 weeks in November 2011, I ate it every day.  It was an addiction.  It was all consuming.  I was stuffing myself with gluten and sugar.  And it was calling me often; like crack or dope.  I knew that I needed to stop the binge.

In the last week, I made the choice to not eat any grains and occasionally partake in desserts that were grain free.  And there were times when I didn't eat the dessert, even when it was a flourless cake that was so decadent and divine that I could've died and gone to heaven.  

Do I miss it?  No.  Not really.  I never really liked pasta.  I am not a big bread fan, but I did like baking it.  I don't crave the saucer sized, toll house cookie.  I am fine living without the sugary latte with soy.  I feel better.  I have more energy.  I don't need it anymore.  It isn't calling my name.  And I am saving money in the end too.

I woke up this morning at 5:40 a.m. and did a short Tabata workout.  Tabata is interval training for 30 seconds each: Low Impact (30 sec) and High Impact (30 sec) for 2 repetitions and a 30 second rest in between sets; there were 4 sets of exercises.  I wrote up an interval training program: Low impact is my Kettlebells (around the body or bent over row) exercise for 30 seconds and High Impact (plyometrics, like jumping jacks or skaters) was 30 seconds, for example.  I did 4 exercises at 2 repetitions each.  It was about a 10 minute workout routine in total.  I then supplemented cardio with 10 minutes on spin bike.  That is all the time I had.  I felt great afterwards.  

I had a nice breakfast of two eggs cooked in bacon fat (yes, bacon fat) with pineapples as a side.  It sure beats having cereal with milk, or oatmeal with milk, or a bagel.  I then sauteed spinach in bacon fat with shallots and garlic, which was for lunch.  I had saved pieces of pork loin that I roasted last night.  I added green beans too.  For dessert, grapes; that is how I get the sweet.  After a long morning meeting, when I entered my office, I had an unexpected meeting.  I didn't get to snack on my yogurt.  I ate lunch much later than usual, but I wasn't hungry like I would've been on a conventional eating plan.  

For my afternoon snack, I had a yogurt with pumpkin and sunflower seeds, which will keep me full while I cook dinner for the 6 of us.  So while the cravings are gone, I am still working hard to make the choice to eat Paleo.  It is a struggle, but one that I'm willing to make.

On a side, benefit note, I realized last night, while reading a fitness magazine where the fitness model stopped eating gluten and no longer was on a steroid inhaler, that I've not used my steroid inhaler that I've used twice daily for the last 9 years in the last week since leaving for vacation.  I don't even know where I packed it.  I have not felt wheezy or short of breath in a couple of weeks.  I am thinking there is definitely a connection to gluten and my acute asthma.  Food for thought.

What do you do to combat cravings?

Weak Spot

While waiting on one of the longest lines in the greatest place on earth, my daughter started patting my upper arm.  She said, "this is fun!" And she laughed maniacally, as my upper arms jiggled under her slaps. 

She pushed my button.  She got me at the core of my weakness; the part of me that makes me feel so uncomfortable and unconfident.  She jiggled my bat wing.  And even as I flexed, she still found places where my body was riddled with loose, fatty skin.  I was mortified.  I was humiliated.  I was so hurt beyond belief that when we got back to the hotel, I grabbed hubby's lap top and I researched non surgical plastic surgery options.  It appeared promising, but there may not be a complete and perfect solution. 

I guess what I am really trying to say is that I am frustrated that I've allowed myself to get back to this point.  I had been here before.  I lost the weight after much hard work.  I vowed not to get fat again.  And I got fat again.  Now, I have a daughter that I want to model great attitudes and behaviors, and I feel like I failed her.  But mostly, I feel like I failed myself.  I am angry and frustrated.  Very. Frustrated.

This morning, even after not sleeping all night and having a bout with diarrhea, I did a series of dips and push ups.  I can't help feeling that even if this body loses the weight, my weak parts will never snap back to where they should be . . . where I want them to be . . . need to be.

So tomorrow morning, I will exercise at the hotel gym.  I will work toward my goal in the New Year.  Even if I don't snap back skin wise, I will be significantly better off with less body fat and better eating habits.  Ultimately, I hope that my new lifestyle does a good job at role modeling for my daughter. 

What is your weak spot?

Merry Christmas with an early resolution . . .

I have been gone for a bit trying to sort out the next phase of our new life.  I've been busy with work, kids, hubby,  new house, and Nana.  It has been quite an adjustment.

During the period of Thanksgiving, I went on a sugar and carb binge.  I was overdosing on the sugary lattes, large cookies and desserts every day for about 3 weeks.  However, in early December, I realized that I must make a change.  I mentioned in a previous post that I was flirting with the idea of Paleo.  Well, 3 weeks ago, I gave up grains and sugar.  This past Monday, I went out to eat with hubby and had carbs--a mousse tort and a ravioli dish with sweet potato inside.  It was divine.  However, what was not divine was the next day when I suffered from an itchy rash on my face and then 5 zits appeared.  My body was inflammed and I was wheezing with asthma for most of the next day.  My body was letting me know that it wasn't cool with what I consumed.  When my doctor tested me for gluten intolerance, I didn't present with an intolerance.  However, the proof is in the way I feel.  It certainly does give me a reaction.

So I committed to grain free (no wheat, oats, barley and even rice) and sugar free (no stevia, even).  I am done 'cause I'm an addict.  I can't even take it in little doses.  I was not feeling well.  I had felt a lot of numbness in my hands and fingers when I was bingeing.  I was worried that I am pre-diabetic.  I am working hard not to overload my liver with insulin.  Thankfully, we aren't traditional Christmas bakers and cooks.  We don't make a large meal and desserts.  We travel every year, so I was okay with starting my New Year's resolution much earlier.

I've been devouring blogs and articles on paleo lifestyle.  It  is simple:

no grains
no dairy
no sugar
lift heavy things
get outdoors and get sun

I think I can do this.  I have been more focused and conscious of my eating and am back to exercising.
I've been researching Crossfit.  Okay, I think they are a bunch of nuts, but the concept intrigues me.  I like hard, ballistic, high intensity intervals, plyomentric, and want to get back to strength training.  I used to lift weights in the middle '90s, I stopped with school, later the babies, and then the moves to different places.

I've been reading blogs and viewing videos online about Crossfit and Kettlebells.  I showed a picture of the Kettlebells that we own that are in our workout dungeon.  Yesterday, I did The Firm DVD (it is their new 20 minute High Intensity interval training program that I got two from Amazon--not the As Seen On TV set).  It was 20 minutes of plyo and light weights.  I then did a workout routine with my 12kg Kettlebells (26 lbs). I did 3 sets of 12 of the first 4 exercises.  I didn't think I did that much work.  I want to master the swing so I can build strength and lose weight.

I started feeling the effects of it late last night while wrapping presents.  My arms killed.  My right knee was dying.  I went to bed after taking two Advil and fell right to sleep at midnight.  This morning, my delts and shoulders are unhappy, but slightly excited about this program that I hope to embark on in the new year.

Hubby bought an elliptical for us, yet, I've used it more than he has in the last two months since it has resided with us.  I hope to do a lot of DVDs and Kettlebells.  I want to get stronger and burn more fat at rest because of the muscles that I will be building.

Now that Christmas is over, what are your New Year's resolutions?

Phase II, Day 8--going Primal

I have been having a really tough time with eating.  Not so much eating to excess because I have my moments, but generally, I am doing pretty good.  It is about eating the precise things.  Like when I was a vegetarian, I gave up meat for over two years.  No meat.  Nada.  Zilch!  But giving up grains as suggested in the Primal Blueprint diet, is a condition I am not prepared to do.  

I want to do the Primal Blueprint.  The concept is amazingly simple--no grains, eat proteins like meat and nuts, and fruits and veggies.  The struggle comes from undoing all the "conventional wisdom" of eating a mix of carbs, protein, and fats.  We learned about the food pyramid, and now there is a USDA food plate.  There are so many concepts in "what to eat" out there that I am getting confused about which would work best for me.

This morning, I worked out to Ripped in 30, and am at Level 2 for the second 30 day stretch.  I've exercised 38 days straight.  I feel great.  I feel so strong and capable of kicking rear.  I see the subtle changes to my body.  I love my strong legs and my arms are getting more tone.  The issue is my inability to figure out a consistent eating plan, which will give me more noticeable results.  When I sacrifice a food group, I start feeling deprived and bitter.  I like eating salads, but having too many of those in the last two months left me yearning for something more.  And that is where the "carb monster" creeps in.  

As a Latina, my culture loves white rice.  As a first generation American, I grew up on cereals and sandwiches too.  I can live without pasta and bread, but heck, I need rice with my meal and a cookie every once in a while.  I understand that the Primal Blueprint will eventually make me not crave that darn sugar, but I can't help but feel deprived without yet "depriving myself."

I had a good breakfast this morning--soy, blueberry yogurt with sesame seeds and a banana.  A simple Primal breakfast.  It would have been better had it not been soy, but what can you do?  Feeling full enough, but not stuffed, I plan on getting a salad with chicken for lunch.  I have grapes for snack.  Life is good.  But life gets in the way by the middle of the afternoon and when I start thinking about what to make for dinner for those in the house who do not go Primal.  

The kids asked for Tacos tonight.  I can make Primal Tacos for me.  It can be as simple as cutting the veggies and using whole romaine lettuce leaves for my soft shell.  I hide carrots and red peppers in the meat to make sure my kids get veggies.  But when I exclude the flour tortilla shell, I start to feel deprived.  Why do the kids get to eat the soft white fluffiness of the tortilla?  Why didn't I ever look like my 9-year-old who can eat anything and still have a gymnast body without the gymnastics?  Why is biology and genetics cruel?

My therapist (yes, I've been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now--she deals with food addiction) said I need to write in a journal--not a food list, but the feelings.  When I want food, what am I truly feeling?  She understands that it is another thing to add to my [life] plate, but I need to work through my issues with food.  Why am I resisting making better choices, which will bring me the "happiness" that I am seeking? Okay, "happiness" may not be the word . . . maybe, the word is satisfaction.  I want to be satisfied with myself--satisfied with my physical appearance.  

I guess what I should do is do a Primal Blueprint challenge--starting today, even though Halloween is Monday and Nana's birthday (with cake) is tomorrow.  I started the day off right with breakfast.  I just have to apply that for a week, then keep going to two and so on.  It works for my workouts, and I am sure it will work for eating.  

Have you ever done a no grains (carbs) diet?  How successful were you?  

Phase II, Day 1

My goal is to eat more of this than grains or sugar.

I did it!  I finished Phase I of my 30 days of Jillian Michaels' DVDs.  To recap: Phase I required alternating Ripped in 30 (RI30), 30 Day Shred (30DS), 6 Week 6 Pack (6W6P) everyday until I completed 30 days of consistent exercise.  I started with Ripped in 30, Level 1 using 3 lb hand weights.  The next day I used 30 Day Shred, Level 1 with 3 lb weights.  This went on for a week. I started with the modifiers for many of the moves because I wasn't very fit when I started.  I had been working out intermittently, but not by any stretch of the imagination was I fit.  Every 7 days, I went up a Level.  The fourth week, for Level 4, I alternated working out with RI30 (which has a Level 4) and 6W6P, Level 1 to really strengthen my core.  I've lost 10 lbs.

After each DVD workout, I would then supplement with 20-30 minutes of cardio on either my treadmill or spin bike.  Within the last week, I started jogging lightly on the treadmill to increase my endurance.  There were about 3 days within the 30 days that I had to miss the supplemental cardio because I either worked out too late in the evening than my usual 5 a.m. workout, or I hit snooze too many times at 4:45 a.m. and had only time to do the DVD and get the kids up for school.  Let's be clear about the actual time of the workouts.  The DVD cover and Jillian says each level is a 20 minute workout, but my DVD's analog time line and heart rate monitor clocked in over 30 minutes: often reaching 36 minutes of actual activity, from warm up to cool down.  I finished Phase I on Thursday, October 20.

This morning, I started Phase II of another 30 days of Jillian Michaels' DVDs.  Phase II had me starting again with RI30, Level 1.  The difference is that I increased my weights to 5 lbs, and did less modifications.  Well, whose kidding who, I did modify the pushups because I am not there . . . yet!  But I didn't modify the plank.  I won't be modifying the plyometric plank routines that Jillian loves to torture us with.  She admits it.  It is torture.  I then hopped on the treadmill for a 20 minute walk/run.  

In the opening of the the DVDs, Jillian talks about taking a rest day.  I want to put my thoughts out there on that one.  There are many people who do heavy manual labor daily: from ranch work (those animals don't feed, steer, or clean themselves) to housework.  We should be in constant movement daily.  I work a sedentary job that keeps me sitting 7 hours in my day.  On the days that my body wasn't initially up to the task of working out hard, I modified the routine.  I didn't jump so high.  I didn't squat so low, I didn't plank full body and went onto my knees.  I am not sore in places that Jillian makes us target.  I have that good sore where I know my muscles are getting stronger.  My knees don't hurt.  Besides from plantar fasciitis that I had prior to the routine, I am okay.  

This is how I feel:  I feel stronger.  I feel energetic.  I feel that I have more endurance.  My anxiety level has decreased.  I am working through many of the emotional issues that I've been dealing with for over 8 years.  I have goals and challenges that I finally want to accomplish.  I have an action plan and am unwaivering in it.  I am in a better place in every sense of the word than I was 30 days ago.  

Working out everyday has led to better habits.  I moved my parking ramp to one farther away.  Not only do I save money, but I have to walk up and down stairs and walk farther to and from work.  I am making better choices (with the exception of 3 days of binging while on my period).  

My eating goal for Phase II is encouraging better eating habits.  In Phase I, I tried to eat more fruits and veggies with lean meats and less carbs.  But I am an addict of sugar: breads, pastas, rice, and sweets.  I am trying to break that habit.  I started reviewing the Primal Blueprint lifestyle.  Many of the things I was doing for 30 days incorporated what I've been reading for the last two days.  Workout less strenously (and I think I am with Jillian's workouts) and eat more veggies, fruits and lean meats and no grains.  The tough part is my addiction to oatmeal for breakfast.  I have to work on making more non grain choices.  I have to plan the eating part of Phase II.  I have to prepare foods in advance.  This is work.  This is a commitment.  I didn't have that when I first started this blog.  I was focused on exercising to eat.  Now, I am focused on exercising and eating well so I can live a better life.  I am trying my damndest to make sure that if I get Alzheimers, like my mother, that I get it much later in life than she did.  I am not accepting that fate.  

My weight loss goal for Phase II is to lose 10 lbs, which will finally get me under 200 and closer to my goal of 150.  While I've seen a dramatic difference in my jeans, I want to get to my happy weight.  Eating well will make the difference.  With creating my own salad bar in my refrigerator, choosing lean meats, and good fats, and being consistent with applying all of it on a daily basis, I think it will make the difference.  

When you think about "happy weight" what does that look like for you?

Workout Zone-Day 19, Phase I; 11 to go.

From October 9, 2011

I've been working out for 19 days straight.  I've been doing 30 Day Shred or Ripped In 30 on alternate days. I use my spin bike or my treadmill depending on the day.  This is my "dungeon".  It is the utility room in my new home.  It is all concrete, exposed pipes, beams, and electrical and cable wires.  Behind my workout zone is the furnace and the hot water heater.  Both alternate to keep a constant hum while trying to listen to Jillian's directions.

From October 9, 2011

I've been enjoying the challenge of 30 Day routines.  I've planned a three Phase routine.  I am presently in Phase I, which is 30 days of RI30 or 30DS.  Right now, I am in Level 3.  I just bought 6 Week, 6 Pack to ad for Level 4 of RI30.  Phase I requires me to use 3 lb weights.  I've also been doing a lot of modifications due to plantar fasciitis.  My right foot is killing me.  I don't think it is just the exercise.  It is the heaviness in my body.  I shouldn't be in  so much pain and discomfort at 37-years-old.  Advil is my friend.

From October 9, 2011

Hubby created a TV zone with left over TVs.  These used to be the children's nursery TVs when they were nursing, I would use them to watch TV in the middle of the night.  TVs came out in preschool.  Now, they are my morning news TV while on the machines.  The other is my DVD TV for all those DVDs you see beside it. I'm very happy that he did this for me.  It would have been his man cave, but I appreciate that he did this for me.

From October 9, 2011

Here are my DVDs.  I don't love them all.  I would say that the top four are my go to videos for right now.  Phase II and III will still require me to use Jillian's videos.  I've been trying to incorporate Yoga, but there aren't enough hours in the day or enough energy coursing through my body to give me the physical motivation to get a second workout done in my day.  I usually work out at 5 a.m., unless it is the weekend and will do it much later.

Eating:  Not so great lately.  I am stressed and overwhelmed.  I am still trying to reduce the white carbs, but I eat what I have available.  I've been making a lot of salads with a variety of raw veggies: cabbage, beets, broccoli, carrots, and lettuces.  Wishing I could do better with lean meats, but I will work harder.

Weight Loss:  I've lost almost 10 lbs.  However, my poor eating these last few days has me gaining 3 lbs and I feel a tad bloated with my cycle coming soon.  I am trying to get to 199 lbs.  I am tired of being over 200.  I feel like I can't get out of this number.  I am hopeful that I will get to 199 by the end of Phase I; in 11 days.

Today, I watched a marathon of MTV's "I Used To Be Fat."  Teenagers losing weight the summer before college.  It has taken me back to my teenage years.  My mom was so unsupportive of weight loss.  She was very controlling over my safety and refused to let me exercise outside of the house or join a team.  Many of the parents on the show were similarly unsupportive.  Having my mother living with me has me feeling like I am 16 again.  It is not her fault.  I am an adult that makes choices, but sometimes your sixteen-year-old self makes a long term appearance.  

Where do you work out?  What is your ideal workout zone?