Friday, October 28, 2011

Phase II, Day 8--going Primal


I have been having a really tough time with eating.  Not so much eating to excess because I have my moments, but generally, I am doing pretty good.  It is about eating the precise things.  Like when I was a vegetarian, I gave up meat for over two years.  No meat.  Nada.  Zilch!  But giving up grains as suggested in the Primal Blueprint diet, is a condition I am not prepared to do.  

I want to do the Primal Blueprint.  The concept is amazingly simple--no grains, eat proteins like meat and nuts, and fruits and veggies.  The struggle comes from undoing all the "conventional wisdom" of eating a mix of carbs, protein, and fats.  We learned about the food pyramid, and now there is a USDA food plate.  There are so many concepts in "what to eat" out there that I am getting confused about which would work best for me.

This morning, I worked out to Ripped in 30, and am at Level 2 for the second 30 day stretch.  I've exercised 38 days straight.  I feel great.  I feel so strong and capable of kicking rear.  I see the subtle changes to my body.  I love my strong legs and my arms are getting more tone.  The issue is my inability to figure out a consistent eating plan, which will give me more noticeable results.  When I sacrifice a food group, I start feeling deprived and bitter.  I like eating salads, but having too many of those in the last two months left me yearning for something more.  And that is where the "carb monster" creeps in.  

As a Latina, my culture loves white rice.  As a first generation American, I grew up on cereals and sandwiches too.  I can live without pasta and bread, but heck, I need rice with my meal and a cookie every once in a while.  I understand that the Primal Blueprint will eventually make me not crave that darn sugar, but I can't help but feel deprived without yet "depriving myself."

I had a good breakfast this morning--soy, blueberry yogurt with sesame seeds and a banana.  A simple Primal breakfast.  It would have been better had it not been soy, but what can you do?  Feeling full enough, but not stuffed, I plan on getting a salad with chicken for lunch.  I have grapes for snack.  Life is good.  But life gets in the way by the middle of the afternoon and when I start thinking about what to make for dinner for those in the house who do not go Primal.  

The kids asked for Tacos tonight.  I can make Primal Tacos for me.  It can be as simple as cutting the veggies and using whole romaine lettuce leaves for my soft shell.  I hide carrots and red peppers in the meat to make sure my kids get veggies.  But when I exclude the flour tortilla shell, I start to feel deprived.  Why do the kids get to eat the soft white fluffiness of the tortilla?  Why didn't I ever look like my 9-year-old who can eat anything and still have a gymnast body without the gymnastics?  Why is biology and genetics cruel?

My therapist (yes, I've been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now--she deals with food addiction) said I need to write in a journal--not a food list, but the feelings.  When I want food, what am I truly feeling?  She understands that it is another thing to add to my [life] plate, but I need to work through my issues with food.  Why am I resisting making better choices, which will bring me the "happiness" that I am seeking? Okay, "happiness" may not be the word . . . maybe, the word is satisfaction.  I want to be satisfied with myself--satisfied with my physical appearance.  

I guess what I should do is do a Primal Blueprint challenge--starting today, even though Halloween is Monday and Nana's birthday (with cake) is tomorrow.  I started the day off right with breakfast.  I just have to apply that for a week, then keep going to two and so on.  It works for my workouts, and I am sure it will work for eating.  

Have you ever done a no grains (carbs) diet?  How successful were you?  

3 comments:

  1. Rosa, thanks for putting into words my feelings exactly about food. Being a latina, one does not feel "satisfied" until we've had our arroz or tortillas. I'm struggling with this too right now. I want to give up carbs... but the fear of giving them up is holding me back... my daughter has given them up and says her "need for sweets" has diminished. Oh, I cannot even imagine a world like that but it is worth the effort. I think for me... I will have "carb free" days... with thanksgiving and xmas around the corner, I may be setting myself up for failure or is that just the fear thining? I applaud you for seeking counseling... I think a journal is perfect.... maybe you could use this blog for said journal?

    Rooting for you...
    Paula

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  2. Enjoyed your post, Rosa ... the more I read about going "primal," the more intrigued I become. I look forward to learning more from your experiences!

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  3. As I mentioned in your most recent post, my hubby and I went paleo/primal as well. But we went one step further and made the boy eat primal/paleo with us. He has ADHD and ASD and we read taking grains out might help his symptoms and behaviours, and boy have they ever! Reports show people were not meant to eat grains. I have been studying anthropology and it's amazing how much people's bodies and health changed once agriculture was introduced. And I can tell you, we all feel better not eating the grains, and the days we do slip it in for a "treat" turn to pain and illness the next day. It's just not worth it.

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