Happy Pills . . .

          I want to apologize for falling off the radar; in every sense of the phrase. I've been pretty melancholy lately. It is the same stuff that always gets me in a tizzy: job, Mom, kids, balancing it all, hubby's work, and still not getting to a place where I want my body to be. I have done nothing lately. Absolutely nothing.

          Yesterday, I couldn't take the fatigue anymore. I was just plain tired and miserable. After a full night's rest, I was not rested. I've been dealing with my self-diagnosis of ADHD. I can't focus or accomplish simple tasks without getting overwhelmed and doing absolutely nothing. Every time I broached the subject, my doctor asks if I am depressed.  I do suffer from anxiety and doctors have wanted to put me on medication for that in the past.  I've always been able to deal with it through relaxation techniques and exercise.  I would go for a walk or a run to burn off that excess angst and energy.  But I haven't had the interest or motivation to do so lately. 

          After reading the gossip rags and reading about one-seemingly-perfect-actress, I realized that we all have our issues. Nothing and no one is perfect. You can have the money, the homes, the lifestyle, but one thing is a given, money isn't everything, beauty isn't going to make you happy, and being thin doesn't keep you satisfied. I went out and bought St. John's Wort.

          I do not recommend this for people who have a clinical diagnosis of depression or a mental health spectrum disorder (nor on antidepressant medication), but for those of us who at certain times of the month are under the weather, this peps you up. I took one capsule, three times a day. By mid morning, I was accomplishing so many tasks and focusing on my work at the office. I was able to get some proposals done and submitted a proposal that I started in the afternoon. I didn't multitask and go from one incomplete activity to the next.  I had a lot more energy because I didn't feel this drain.

          This morning, I was able to clean and cook without hesitation and wanting to plop on the couch as soon as I woke up. Amazon and I were able to rearrange her room and make more sense of the space. She and I decluttered.  I made great lunches for everyone; including myself. It has been good so far. This isn't the cure, but I am hoping that it can help me during my PMS phase; which I realized was the culprit when I went to the bathroom mid-day yesterday.

          I don't keep track of my cycle, so I don't always have a clue as to when my mood has changed. I keep saying that I am going to get back to fitness and eating well, but that is just a lie. I have absolutely no motivation or interest. I will be spending some of Spring Break with the kids next week. If it ever stops snowing while we are home (yes, it is snowing here right now), I will take the kids out for bike rides around our community. I still have a lot of goals, but I need to take time to get to it. I am thinking that I may still be suffering from SAD because this winter and darkness hasn't gone away.  I plan on jumping on the treadmill for a short walk when Baby naps today; just me and my ipod.  Just to do something.  Sometimes you just have to do a little something to jump over that seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

What do you do to elevate your mood (anything natural, medicinal, or activity wise)?