Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Chocolate is my love . . .

I haven't been diligent with writing because I've been bingeing on sugar.  Sugar is my enemy. Chocolate, specifically, is my drug.  Due to the insane holiday seasons that introduce candy every month, I've been consuming copious amounts of dark chocolate; but am not immune to milk chocolate (albeit allergic to milk).

I'm still grain free, but I managed to bake some gluten free chocolate cookies that are essentially a big pile of sugar.  They were yummy.  And now I have a sugar coma.  I feel this pressure release when I consume chocolate.  It is like the anxiety and pent up energy and emotions are slowly released in a deep, meditative exhale.  It is weird to even feel calm as I write about chocolate and sugar.

I've not exercised, which caused me to have an anxiety attack last week.  I ended up in urgent care thinking I was having a heart attack.  I've not had one land me in the hospital in a long time, so I was due.  The pressures of parenting, care taking, career, financial issues, all boiled in my pressure cooker, and I thought I would flip my lid.  

I am not 100% better.  I am still working through my issues.  I'm human.  I feel physically better about the changes I've made with going grain free, but now want to focus on giving up sugar again.  Oh, yeah!  I failed to mention that I had an Almond Milk Latte kick.  However, I've been making them at home and saving money.  I haven't had one since Monday.  It was only 3 days of Latte bliss, but I am back on the wagon of going sugary latte free.

I want to finally make the combination of eating and exercise work toward weight loss.  My goal is to do Jillian Michael's DVDs again.  She is due to have another DVD released, which is kickboxing.  You do not know the love I have for kickboxing.  I want to rotate her DVD series to get the best out of her workouts.  Did you see she has now gone the informercial route?  I was a bit peeved, but the gal does have an incredible sense fitness and structure.  

I've been wanting to go the crossfit route, but the gyms locally are very cost prohibitive.  Hubby and I watched a Crossfit competition on ESPN.  We were so awed and impressed.  However, for weights, medicine balls, and cardio, I am not interested in spending $150/mo for fitness.  And hubby did that when he was in college--he says he was tortured while playing football, so he has no interest in co-crossfitting with me.  I am not feeling motivated to workout in my dungeon, despite having all the equipment at my disposal.  But time, money and support are limited and I have to do what is easiest and available.  5 a.m. workouts, here I come!

We all need motivators to work out, what's yours?

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Scale Steppin' Saturday--194.3

Lunch today at 3 p.m. because I was not prepare to feed myself.

Well, that weight is a surprise.  Because I am all about full disclosure, I weighed in last Saturday at 195.4, which was .1 lbs less than the previous week's weigh-in.  It wasn't that I wasn't proud of any loss or embarrassed by the minuscule loss, I was just not in the spirit of blogging about anything.  I was lazy and irritable.

I am still going through a lot of stressors.  They are the same stressors that I will have for a long time: 3 kids, Nana, and a full time job out of the home, while hubby is away for most of it.  I am still in therapy, but sometimes a biweekly visit to chat for an hour isn't enough.  But I don't have the time or the energy to do more visits.

These last few days were horrible.  I ate so much chocolate that I could have had my own candy shop.  And to have a loss is remarkable.   While I am proud to keep losing weight, I wish I could contain my sugar addiction.  I did so well the first month, but then I figured dark chocolate can't hurt.  Darn you, Trader Joes and Aldi chocolates with your inexpensive price point.

I've had issues with constipation, it is not due to being Paleo/Primal.  I am eating enough fiber with the salads, veggies and fruit.  My issue is water.  I have to keep drinking a lot of water throughout the day.  I have a multitude of water bottles, but must force myself to refill and sip throughout the day.

Exercise was much better.  Four days of exercise this week.  I got up at 5 a.m. to workout.  I didn't work out on Friday because my daughter has been waking up at 3 a.m. and calling me.  I am a light sleeper and usually can't fall back to sleep within a quick time, so I am exhausted and irritable for the rest of the day.

My goal for the coming week:

  1. Drink water throughout the day. 
  2. Exercise 5 times this week.
  3. Reduce chocolate consumption. 
  4. Prepare my food in advance so I don't scramble to get something fixed.  .  
If you can eliminate one bad behavior when you are stressed, what is it?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Will You Ever Eat Grains Again?

My friend and colleague asked me that question today when I showed her my meals for today.  I prepped my breakfast of 1 egg + 1 egg white, which I made into a fritata with kale and leftover meatloaf that I made with parsnips, carrots, onions, garlic, and kale, and a banana.  Lunch was a salad with left over pork chop and french dressing (it was authentic--from a bottle), and grapes.  She marveled at the amount of salad dressing and asked how much I had in a small glass container; probably not more than 2 tablespoons--because that is fattening, she exclaimed.  I also had fruit for snack.  

My friend has enrolled herself in a weight loss program at one of the local hospitals.  She has been struggling with her weight for many years.  She credits me with inspiring her to workout and eat better.  However, she is doing "conventional dieting" through this nutrition program.  She asked the physician at her meeting last night what he thought about going grain free.  As a cardiologist, he didn't recommend it.  He said it wasn't sustainable if there weren't any medical reason to be off of grains, then one shouldn't.  Maybe gluten can be eliminated, but other grains were impossible to remove totally because we need them in our diet.  He stated that we needed grains in our diet.  My friend noted that he didn't promote a high carbohydrate diet either.  

I've been reading about Dr. William Davis, a cardiologist and author of Wheat Belly.  I've read several articles in which he was interviewed about his theory on gluten.  Everything I've read in his interviews, without reading his book, resonated with me.  Essentially, grains (most specifically gluten) are genetically modified and do not add any real nutritive value and can actually harm us.  Dr. Davis' patients, upon removing gluten from their diet, recovered from many of their illnesses, such as diabetes, asthma, arthritis.  Those recoveries also supported their heart health.  Patients who did not stick to the diet had reoccurring heart attacks.  Patients who followed the "no gluten diet", did significantly better.

When I first got into Paleo, I wanted to lose weight.  It was my way of losing this fat and getting out of a rut that I physically and psychological couldn't get out of.  But when I realized the added benefit of not adding a steroid into my lungs twice a day everyday, which I'd done for the last 9 years, I was pleased that I could save my lungs and save so much money.

I gave up dairy 2 years ago because it did more harm to my body than good.  Once I got medical confirmation that I am actually allergic to dairy, I also confirmed within myself that I made the right call.  I listened to myself and went with my "gut" instinct.  I am doing the same with grains because it has caused more harm to my body than good.  I am planning on doing some food allergy testing and get confirmation that I am gluten intolerant.  Once I do, I will share on the blog.  However, I do feel so good mentally and physically, that I may keep this up indefinitely even if the results prove negative.

How do you deal with people who doubt your weight loss method?