I have been having a really tough time with eating. Not so much eating to excess because I have my moments, but generally, I am doing pretty good. It is about eating the precise things. Like when I was a vegetarian, I gave up meat for over two years. No meat. Nada. Zilch! But giving up grains as suggested in the Primal Blueprint diet, is a condition I am not prepared to do.
I want to do the Primal Blueprint. The concept is amazingly simple--no grains, eat proteins like meat and nuts, and fruits and veggies. The struggle comes from undoing all the "conventional wisdom" of eating a mix of carbs, protein, and fats. We learned about the food pyramid, and now there is a USDA food plate. There are so many concepts in "what to eat" out there that I am getting confused about which would work best for me.
This morning, I worked out to Ripped in 30, and am at Level 2 for the second 30 day stretch. I've exercised 38 days straight. I feel great. I feel so strong and capable of kicking rear. I see the subtle changes to my body. I love my strong legs and my arms are getting more tone. The issue is my inability to figure out a consistent eating plan, which will give me more noticeable results. When I sacrifice a food group, I start feeling deprived and bitter. I like eating salads, but having too many of those in the last two months left me yearning for something more. And that is where the "carb monster" creeps in.
As a Latina, my culture loves white rice. As a first generation American, I grew up on cereals and sandwiches too. I can live without pasta and bread, but heck, I need rice with my meal and a cookie every once in a while. I understand that the Primal Blueprint will eventually make me not crave that darn sugar, but I can't help but feel deprived without yet "depriving myself."
I had a good breakfast this morning--soy, blueberry yogurt with sesame seeds and a banana. A simple Primal breakfast. It would have been better had it not been soy, but what can you do? Feeling full enough, but not stuffed, I plan on getting a salad with chicken for lunch. I have grapes for snack. Life is good. But life gets in the way by the middle of the afternoon and when I start thinking about what to make for dinner for those in the house who do not go Primal.
The kids asked for Tacos tonight. I can make Primal Tacos for me. It can be as simple as cutting the veggies and using whole romaine lettuce leaves for my soft shell. I hide carrots and red peppers in the meat to make sure my kids get veggies. But when I exclude the flour tortilla shell, I start to feel deprived. Why do the kids get to eat the soft white fluffiness of the tortilla? Why didn't I ever look like my 9-year-old who can eat anything and still have a gymnast body without the gymnastics? Why is biology and genetics cruel?
My therapist (yes, I've been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now--she deals with food addiction) said I need to write in a journal--not a food list, but the feelings. When I want food, what am I truly feeling? She understands that it is another thing to add to my [life] plate, but I need to work through my issues with food. Why am I resisting making better choices, which will bring me the "happiness" that I am seeking? Okay, "happiness" may not be the word . . . maybe, the word is satisfaction. I want to be satisfied with myself--satisfied with my physical appearance.
I guess what I should do is do a Primal Blueprint challenge--starting today, even though Halloween is Monday and Nana's birthday (with cake) is tomorrow. I started the day off right with breakfast. I just have to apply that for a week, then keep going to two and so on. It works for my workouts, and I am sure it will work for eating.
Have you ever done a no grains (carbs) diet? How successful were you?