Saturday, April 16, 2011

Happy Pills . . .

          I want to apologize for falling off the radar; in every sense of the phrase. I've been pretty melancholy lately. It is the same stuff that always gets me in a tizzy: job, Mom, kids, balancing it all, hubby's work, and still not getting to a place where I want my body to be. I have done nothing lately. Absolutely nothing.

          Yesterday, I couldn't take the fatigue anymore. I was just plain tired and miserable. After a full night's rest, I was not rested. I've been dealing with my self-diagnosis of ADHD. I can't focus or accomplish simple tasks without getting overwhelmed and doing absolutely nothing. Every time I broached the subject, my doctor asks if I am depressed.  I do suffer from anxiety and doctors have wanted to put me on medication for that in the past.  I've always been able to deal with it through relaxation techniques and exercise.  I would go for a walk or a run to burn off that excess angst and energy.  But I haven't had the interest or motivation to do so lately. 

          After reading the gossip rags and reading about one-seemingly-perfect-actress, I realized that we all have our issues. Nothing and no one is perfect. You can have the money, the homes, the lifestyle, but one thing is a given, money isn't everything, beauty isn't going to make you happy, and being thin doesn't keep you satisfied. I went out and bought St. John's Wort.

          I do not recommend this for people who have a clinical diagnosis of depression or a mental health spectrum disorder (nor on antidepressant medication), but for those of us who at certain times of the month are under the weather, this peps you up. I took one capsule, three times a day. By mid morning, I was accomplishing so many tasks and focusing on my work at the office. I was able to get some proposals done and submitted a proposal that I started in the afternoon. I didn't multitask and go from one incomplete activity to the next.  I had a lot more energy because I didn't feel this drain.

          This morning, I was able to clean and cook without hesitation and wanting to plop on the couch as soon as I woke up. Amazon and I were able to rearrange her room and make more sense of the space. She and I decluttered.  I made great lunches for everyone; including myself. It has been good so far. This isn't the cure, but I am hoping that it can help me during my PMS phase; which I realized was the culprit when I went to the bathroom mid-day yesterday.

          I don't keep track of my cycle, so I don't always have a clue as to when my mood has changed. I keep saying that I am going to get back to fitness and eating well, but that is just a lie. I have absolutely no motivation or interest. I will be spending some of Spring Break with the kids next week. If it ever stops snowing while we are home (yes, it is snowing here right now), I will take the kids out for bike rides around our community. I still have a lot of goals, but I need to take time to get to it. I am thinking that I may still be suffering from SAD because this winter and darkness hasn't gone away.  I plan on jumping on the treadmill for a short walk when Baby naps today; just me and my ipod.  Just to do something.  Sometimes you just have to do a little something to jump over that seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

What do you do to elevate your mood (anything natural, medicinal, or activity wise)?
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  1. I am so glad to see you writing again. You truly inspire me:) xoxo

  2. Glad you're back! When I want a pick-me-up, I walk the dog...or shop. Or call someone. I just try not to fold back into myself, which can be tough when I'm feeling bummed.


  3. Rosa,
    Thanks for posting this. I think I need to look into getting me something ASAP. My mood is terrible especially the week before, and part of the week during. I can barely cope, and it's starting to affect others around me! I was just mentioning to a friend, if Midol PMS worked on mood fluctuations. Im willing to give the St. Johns a try. May we both cheer up, and try to get little things done!

  4. Hi rosa, glad the St. John's Wort is working for you. When I want to just disappear... I retreat to nature. Sitting on a rock, near a waterfall or walking with leaves crackling under my feet always helps me put things into perspective. Of course, you know exercise is always helpful.

    So glad you're being proactive on this front.


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