I was asked to choose a pic for my jobs newsletter and one of them struck me because of the pic that I took in 1994. Sixteen years have passed and now this girl (now a woman), is back again. I thought that she wouldn't make an appearance when I got rid of her. I told myself that I would never get back to that place.
Not even seeing this side by side am I prompted to make a real change; binges are back. Stressors have actually permitted me to eat crap and beat myself up later. Today, I have the sniffles. I know that a cold is coming. I am overwhelmed with work, kids, husband's work and schooling. All STUPID excuses. Always stupid excuses.
I look at "her" and I actually remember the minimal stressors: no debt, no concerns over a spouse or children, or a job. Her only job: do well in school and enjoy the good times to be had. Even though she never dealt with my present issues, she wasn't happy. She was lonely. She was unloved. She was unhealthy. She was unfit. She wanted to shed her outer self to project her inner self.
She got healthy, fit, and happy when the weight was dropped. But now she is back. I am not sure if it is her or a new gal. I am thinking it is a new gal. And I want the new gal to go away! But I often wonder if she is meant to always be here. Is it worth trying to get rid of her, over and over again?