Sunday, February 6, 2011

Scale Steppin Sunday--February 6

February 6

-1 lb

I lost 1 lb this week.  I'll take it.

I've been wondering what I am doing all this for.  Why am I trying to lose weight and blogging about it?

I feel like I am putting this immense pressure on myself to be something that I don't think I can achieve.  I think I am losing sight of why I started this blog and the momentum that I established.  I know that I wanted to document my accomplishments.  I wanted to write about my running races as an obese woman.  I did want to lose weight.  I did have a plan. 

Without sounding like I am assigning blame, I recall wanting to achieve the weight loss of so many amazing bloggers.  I wanted to achieve the completion of races, the attempt at a triathalon, the documenting of healthy, clean eating.  I think I got caught up in a competition of my own making.  Weight loss is a singular sport.  It is a challenge within one's own mind and body.  But my focus and drive starting going by the wayside. In the year of blogging, I've stayed at around 205 lbs.  I may have changed the shape of my body, the endurance, the flexibility, but I haven't changed the "heaviness". 

I also haven't completely changed my thoughts about food.  Blogging is not motivation for anyone if there aren't any results or substance to what I am writing about.  The up and down weight loss and gains are not a good thing.  It certainly is not a healthy thing. My "rock bottoms" were truly not rock bottoms--more of a feeling of shame, but never enough to slap me to productivity.

So I am thinking of changing focus again.  Going back to original plan.  Working on my running, yoga, and strength training.  I shared my schedule last week.  I am planning on continuing with that plan, with some modifications.

I am going back to training for races.  I am starting from square one, which is training for a 5K in May.  Paula and I discussed training for a 10K--virtually.  I am a bit overwhelmed by that task, however she has been doing an amazing job at running lately.  I am in awe of her.  I am picking out a 5k to do in eight weeks. 

In the future, weight loss and healthy eating posts will show up when there is a loss, and if I think it is worthy to blog about.  If "Scale Steppin Sunday" ceases to exist don't hold it against me.  I am just allowing myself to function as best as I can. My reward is feeling like I accomplished something, and loss of fat isn't the only thing that rewards me. 

4 comments:

  1. woohooo, great job on the 1 lb. loss. Si se puede!!!

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  2. Weight loss has been difficult for many of us for different reasons and blogging through those reasons help but it's easy to get discouraged when you see so many bloggers hitting their goals and losing weight... This is why zumba, jogging and hopefully biking will help me in obtaining "goals" and "accomplishments". Hiking a mountain seems more attainable than losing 10 lbs. Crazy, I know but for the "spirit" and the "soul" we need lean towards those activities that will help us feel good about ourselves.

    I'm proud of you Rosa. I have a ways to go to geet to the 10k but I know we can do it... we just need to keep working towards that goal.

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  3. I really likes what you had to say. I have been feeling several of the same things lately. I honestly haven't lost nearly as much as I'd hoped by now, but there are other rewards that are more important.

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  4. I only have a moment to comment, but just wanted to let you know I found your blog through your WIDTH picture at JackSh.t ... I look forward to following your journey as what I've read so far in your posts sounds like me. Will post more a little later, but just wanted to say for now: the 1 lb loss is wonderful. It's a building block!

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