Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Time . . .


I came to the conclusion this morning that I can't workout consistently if I don't exercise at 5 a.m.  There is no other time in my day, nor am I physically and emotionally capable of forcing myself to workout but at 5 a.m.  And as painful as that time is, I have to bite the bullet and do it.

I have to write out my daily routine in my calendar.  I have to set up the room.  I have to have the DVD in the player.  I have to set out my clothes.  I have to set the alarm for 4:45 a.m. I have to get up when said alarm rings at 4:45 a.m.  I have to drag my sorry butt down the stairs.  I have to get the workout in. 

School starts on Wednesday of next week.  I am on vacation.  But I can no longer be on a vacation from my fitness.  I took a pause this afternoon, after feeling a panic attack set in; pain in my back, feeling of agitation, fearfullness.  During that pause, I realized that I hadn't had a panic attack since last year.  Why?  Because I started working out.  I made a plan for myself.  I set up a routine to run a race.

Exercise has been a natural drug to combat the anxiety and depression that I get from time to time.  The panic attack came on today because my son acted horribly at the mall.  He is mildly autistic and wouldn't take "no, I am not going to buy you a toy, candy, frozen ice cream, t-shirt" for an answer.  He became obstinate and abusive.  I felt this huge sense of helplessness.  Before he was diagnosed, I started running.  The shock and fear of his new label was minimized because I was taking care of myself physically.

I still do damage eating wise.  But I usually take comfort in the fact that I devote 45 minutes to 60 minutes to make myself stronger and build my endurance.

As difficult as it is to even think about, I will be getting up at 5 a.m. tomorrow and get on that treadmill.  Ugghhh!

What time of day do you workout?  What to you do to motivate yourself to workout?


  1. I usually go immediately after work, which means sometime around 6 or so. I'd like to be a morning exerciser, but I don't have the discipline. I may have to, because I'm running into obligations at night from classes I want to take or people I want to see or things I've gotta do. Maybe I will take a cue from you.

  2. My husband is a firefighter so his schedule keeps me from being able to have much of a routine. I basically have to get the exercise in whenever I can that day. Usually it's at the end of the day. I would much rather it be early to get the metabolism going. Now 4:45 is a bit early for me to think about!!! That takes a lot on your part which is very impressive. It must be VERY hard but you know that is the best way for you to combat your the anxiety and depression which i knopw from personal experience is unbearable. Just keep at it girl! Maybe it will get easier!?


  3. you are such an inspiration. I need to get back into a routine. It just makes me feel better.

  4. in the evenings mostly. i have two days off from classes, so i go in the late mornings on those days before afterschool babysitting.
    your 5:30 thing in insane! i really respect that about you, rosa (i almost called you paula! ha!) because i'm not sure i want to be thin that badly :)
    kiddin' kiddin'
    but seriously!


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