My Fitness Pal

For the last two weeks, I've been using My Fitness Pal that I downloaded for free on my itouch and can log onto online. I didn't realize that I had signed up for it over a year ago when I started my journey of health and fitness. Undoubtedly, it was recommended by another blogger.

The reason I started monitoring my food (despite being a WW member and the "ease" of points) is that I am not capable of truly acknowledging and being accountable for what I eat when I don't write every single bite or drink to review at the end of the day. I need to see the number of calories that I am allowed, and I need to see how many calories I've subtracted from that number per meal. It is startling how much I can eat in one meal. Weight Watcher's points are great, but I needed to get back to the science of weightloss; like I did in college when I ate vegetarian and wrote everything down in a 5 subject, college ruled spiral notebook--yes, I am that specific in life.

If I am going to ingest it, I have to write it. Well, in this case, plug it all in. One thing was startling, that we can eat the calories gained from the burn of exercise. I did know this. Weight Watchers teaches this. However, I didn't quite understand it and how it relates to my body. It was a revelation that was amazing. If I want to eat a little more then I need to exercise. However, on the days I eat the amount of calories burned from exercise, I found that the next day I didn't lose an ounce. Okay, shoot me for weighing in everyday, but I was a bit shocked.

One of the things I want to start doing in April, is to use a heart rate monitor for exercise. I want to know exactly how many calories "my" body is burning while exercising. I've thought of getting a body bugg, but the expense of the device plus the membership is something I can't invest in right now. Getting back to the basics of a relatively inexpensive heart rate monitor is the way to go.

This morning I weighed in at 203.7 lbs. I've been up and down recently, but my average was always about 205, so this is great. My weightloss goal with My Fitness Pal is one pound a week. So far at the rate I am going with my calorie consumption of 1700 calories a day (without the extra from exercise), I can get to 198 lbs in 5 weeks. Pretty cool.

I am not at the point of reducing my calories to lose 2 lbs a week. I feel like I have to master the control of eating and cataloging my consumption, so I am not pushing it. I started a running program to get back to my 5k runner's status.

Goals for March 20-26:

1. log food.
2. exercise 5 times this week
3. move a little more during my sedentary office hours.

How do you monitor your calorie intake or burn? (I know you're there. Delurk and let me know what you do. Thanks.)

At the table.

This baby has taught me a valuable lesson. 

After cooking their meals, I used to take my plate and sit in front of the big screen or go back to my office and sit to eat.  I needed that mindless, decompression time.  It is a time for me to reflect on my day, on my stressors, on my disappointment with how life is turning out--yes, I am melodramatic.  However, eating this way used to leave me wanting seconds--and often thirds.  Lootie Tootie often would call me to sit down and eat.  "Here, Mama. Sit".  I rejected her many times in the past or ignored her.  Bad mama, I know.

After all of the "harassment" recently, I obliged.  I started sitting with them at the dinner table.  However, often, someone would ask me for seconds or more juice, or they'd drop their fork, or didn't have a napkin.  It would require me to keep getting up and not focus on the eating of my meal or enjoying the company of my three kids.

Today, while eating breakfast, I realized that since sitting down at the table to eat this week, I haven't gone back for seconds (there are other reasons too of course).  I haven't felt the need to get a bit more because I woofed down a meal without enjoying it.  When the kids asked me for more cereal or milk, I told them that they could get it so that I may focus on my food.  The baby and I sat happily and ate our cereals without distraction--until she asked me for more, and she couldn't very well get some of her own.  I left my bowl and got her some more.  When I returned, I didn't dive back in to inhale the remainder.  I took my time to get the spoon in hand, fish a mouthful, and bring to my lips.  It was completely natural and normal. 

All the books and suggestions to sit down at the table without TV, or book, or computer for mindful weight loss are absolutely right. 


Where do you eat? (please let me know. I pose these questions so I can hear from you.  Delurk and "talk" to me, please. Thank you.)

Reality

From Picture Bye, bye my favorite meal!  I gotta work on this weight loss.

Sorry for my long absence and very quick post without much fanfare.  I've been struggling.  We all struggle.  It is a very rough time for many.  I am struggling with the weight, my thoughts of myself, my thoughts on all that is happening here in Madison, problems with the economy and a lot of personal financial struggles.  At the end of the day, I am left with thoughts questioning what is all this for?  What are we working for?  Why am I so desperate to lose weight for?  What the heck?

I suffer from panic attacks.  The last time I had a major attack was after I had my son.  The reason for the panic attack--no money!  And now almost 7 years later the major attack came on last week.  Why?  Money.  The fact is we will also be losing more money because of the new legislation that has been pushed forward here in Madison.  And we were already struggling and sacrificing.

Subsequently, eating has been horrible.  Physically, I've been more tired and in pain.  My arms get numb in the mornings, and I know that has a ton to do with the sugar I am consuming.  This week I had to start to document my eating.  There were a couple of bumpy days of not being truthful.  On Wednesday, I got my act together and started plugging my eating into MyFitnessPal.com.  I downloaded an app for my itouch and have been plugging away.  Yesterday, I had a deficit, and I even got to eat an ounce of cookie--btw, that cookie comes in the size of a saucer and is 14 pts.  I want to learn not to deprive, but also not to indulge.  I don't have the mindset of fitness leaders and stars whom say that rice, pasta, and processed food are killing me.  I know they are, but I think everything in life is moderation--even exercise.

Exercise:  a touchy subject lately.  I haven't been doing any.  I've relaxed a significant amount.  The thought of waking up at 4:50 a.m. to exercise is paralyzing.  However, I want to get back to running.  I enjoy running and cycling.  I have these Kettlebells that are staring at me whenever I go into the playroom/workout room.  Today, I plan to cycle in the afternoon when my daughter goes to nap.  The older two leave me alone and watch TV or play, so I get a bit of a break.

I do think I am in a bit of a depression.  Everything looks gloomy.  Everyone I work with (in a State job) is in a funk.  My coworker has regained the 10 lbs that she credits me for motivating her to lose.  Negativity begets negativity.  She and I gave ourselves a date to get back to business.  Today is my day.  Last night was hers.

I got a reminder today from Jack $h*+ when he reposted my entry for W.I.D.T.H--Why I Do This Here.  I wrote that I wanted the inner athlete to reflect on the outside.  Send him a picture and in the picture, write on a notecard or photoshop into it why you are on this journey.  What are you hoping to accomplish? My photo was true at the time.  It is still true, but today I truly want to just wear a really hot wrap dress. 

How are you doing on your healthy eating and fitness journey?

This is forever . . .

This is definitely an inspiration.  I need to take a lesson from this wonderful lady.  Tomorrow morning, when I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, I will remember that this is what I want to achieve.  And I hope I will get up and exercise.

Scale Steppin Sunday--February 6

-1 lb

I lost 1 lb this week.  I'll take it.

I've been wondering what I am doing all this for.  Why am I trying to lose weight and blogging about it?

I feel like I am putting this immense pressure on myself to be something that I don't think I can achieve.  I think I am losing sight of why I started this blog and the momentum that I established.  I know that I wanted to document my accomplishments.  I wanted to write about my running races as an obese woman.  I did want to lose weight.  I did have a plan. 

Without sounding like I am assigning blame, I recall wanting to achieve the weight loss of so many amazing bloggers.  I wanted to achieve the completion of races, the attempt at a triathalon, the documenting of healthy, clean eating.  I think I got caught up in a competition of my own making.  Weight loss is a singular sport.  It is a challenge within one's own mind and body.  But my focus and drive starting going by the wayside. In the year of blogging, I've stayed at around 205 lbs.  I may have changed the shape of my body, the endurance, the flexibility, but I haven't changed the "heaviness". 

I also haven't completely changed my thoughts about food.  Blogging is not motivation for anyone if there aren't any results or substance to what I am writing about.  The up and down weight loss and gains are not a good thing.  It certainly is not a healthy thing. My "rock bottoms" were truly not rock bottoms--more of a feeling of shame, but never enough to slap me to productivity.

So I am thinking of changing focus again.  Going back to original plan.  Working on my running, yoga, and strength training.  I shared my schedule last week.  I am planning on continuing with that plan, with some modifications.

I am going back to training for races.  I am starting from square one, which is training for a 5K in May.  Paula and I discussed training for a 10K--virtually.  I am a bit overwhelmed by that task, however she has been doing an amazing job at running lately.  I am in awe of her.  I am picking out a 5k to do in eight weeks. 

In the future, weight loss and healthy eating posts will show up when there is a loss, and if I think it is worthy to blog about.  If "Scale Steppin Sunday" ceases to exist don't hold it against me.  I am just allowing myself to function as best as I can. My reward is feeling like I accomplished something, and loss of fat isn't the only thing that rewards me. 

Scale Steppin' Sunday--Jan 30

+ 2.8 lbs. 

To be expected.  This was a rough week with a celebration thrown in.  So my EXCUSES follow:

EVALUATIONS:

I received evaluations for my work from those that I supervise.  Well, there is constructive criticism and there is down-right-mean-and-I-am-getting-back-at-you for an undefined reason criticism.  I felt that a lot of what was said isn't really about me; didn't truly define my personality.  But it made me very sad and stressed out.  Stress is definitely a fat trapper.  I feel a lot of stress and anxiety to make changes in a faster amount of time than I truly have.  I have to work through that and hope that it doesn't stress me out more and cause weight gain.

BIRTHDAY DINNER:

On Thursday, I went to a dinner party for a friend at a private club.  It was Nouveau Cuisine (french style) with lots of sea food in 6 courses.  Well, seven with the Amuse Bouche.  Everyone else had the wine pairings with each course.  I don't drink alcohol at all--I have enough problems with food that I don't need to add alcohol.

LUNCH WITH CO WORKER:

I went back to that fabulous club and had lunch the next day.  I love that place and I don't go often, so I had a nice lunch and cookie.  It was the day I got my evaluations.

NO WATER:

In my stress to accomplish a million things and attend every meeting and therapies (which I don't even want to put in its own category cause I am tired of discussing him and "it") for my son this week, I didn't drink waters this week.  I am a true believer (even if I am scientifically wrong) that not hydrating causes your body to retain water for fear of dehydration.  I haven't had my water next to me in days.  I've been drinking when I am thirsty, which is not a great thing. 

EXERCISE:

I worked out 4 times this week.  I woke up at 5 a.m. and followed my schedule.  Well, I also went full blast with the Jillian DVDs.  That woman is insane.  I felt the results yesterday and couldn't do anything because of the tightness in my lower body.  However, Sundays start my week and I will be exercising my regular scheduled routine today--this afternoon when baby is napping--YOGA.  I am also operating under my own theory that when you exercise after a long period of inactivity, your body doesn't allow for weightloss because it is repairing the things that are "ill" in the body first.  I didn't build muscles in 4 days, so I am not using that as an excuse. 

ALONE:

Hubby is traveling since Saturday.  I am alone with 3 kids for a few days.  This is common.  While it is a regular routine to be alone with the 3 kids, it is never going to be something I am used to.  The first night he is gone, I can't sleep.  The thoughts of all the things that could go wrong swirl in my head throughout the night.  The house is quiet and I start listening for any sound.  I feel like I am on "alert" mode.  That feeling doesn't allow me to unwind.  I can't undwind when I am trying to be ready to kick someone's ass who tries to break in. 

SEDENTARY WORK:

I do office work. I am behind a desk doing all day mostly.  I am typing at the computer.  The students come to me versus me going to them.  During great weather, I take a walk with my co-worker.  She and I would work out before work at home and still take time to walk together.  It was a great way to connect.  It is too cold and wet out there to go on the lake path that we take.  It is just ugly out there.

PMS:

I don't get a true period anymore.  Just spotting because of the IUD.  I still get the hormonal imbalance and moodiness.  I am sure I am a bit bloated and can feel some cramping as I write this.  I never truly know when my period is occurring.  Well, actually I do.  The zit on my chin is a big clue.  I hate adult acne.  My doctor told me to get rid of the simple sugars.  I already don't eat the white rice, white breads, on a regular basis.  If I do, it is a treat. 

Adding all those excuses together, I had a gain because things went downhill.

PLAN:

• Stick to fitness schedule this week (at least 5 days)
• Drink waters
• Do a destressing activity to relieve anxiety built up from work.
• At 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. I am going to take a 10 minute break to walk up and down the 5 flights of stairs at my job. 
• Take lunch and snacks to work to eliminate eating out. 

While I am again behind on achieving my goal, I am not going to get discouraged. I'm not willing to quit.  I know I can do it.  It may take me forever to fix my "head" to match my heart.  I will get it done.  And I realized this weekend, as I was weepy and reflective, I can't please everyone.  I have to make sure that I do what is best for the program I run.  I am not going to change my professionalism.  I think I am a pretty great gal, worker, and mom.  And Paula told me so.

How do you tackle a setback?

Inflexible . . .

This morning I went back to my 5 a.m. basics workout. I dragged myself out of bed (having slept in my workout clothes). Went downstairs.  Got on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes with my hand weights. It was an easy walk.  I didn't want to strain myself because I am still coughing a bit at night and throughout the day.  I find that when I push myself too hard when I get back to exercise, I am more apt to find reasons to quit.

Once I finished my 30 minute walk (with 3 lb weights that I hold for 20 minutes and do curls, raises, kickbacks, punches, etc), I went to tackle Bob's Yoga. I chose the 20 minutes because I was sufficiently warmed up from the walking.  Let me just say, that doing weights on the treadmill then doing Yoga is not for the weak.  Try holding yourself up in plank for over a minute when your arms are limp noodles.  Yikes!

I was saddened to feel the loss of flexibility.  My heels came off the ground when I did my downward facing dog.  I had perfected it when I stopped.  But I know that with time and effort, I will get the flexibility back.  I also want to get my planks back.  I love feeling strong and able to hold up this body.

The Weekly Routine:

Mon:    30 minutes Cycling and 20 minutes 30 Day Shred
Tue:     30 minutes Walking and 20 minutes Yoga
Wed:    No More Trouble Zones by Jillian Michaels
Thu:     30 minute Cycling and 20 minutes 30 Day Shred
Fri:      30 minutes Walking and 20 minutes Yoga
Sat:      Burn Fat Boost Metabolism
Sun:     Bob Harpers' Yoga for the Warrior

I had gotten into the cycle of cardio and forsook my need for strength training and yoga.  The body burns fat more efficiently at rest when strength training is part of the fitness routine.  I want to be able to balance it all.  For at least a month, this will be my at home plan at 5 a.m. during the weekdays, and 7 a.m. during the weekends.

This workout plan, along with eating, should give me a steady loss.  I will ensure to take part in an activity everyday.  A laid out scheduled reduces my stress.

What is your "go to" workout routine?