The Belly . . .

third pregnancy, 2008

At 5:30 a.m. this morning I put on my swimsuit.  Nope, I didn't go swimming.  I needed my racer back swimsuit to contain the hanging belly that has resulted from the years of obesity and three, very full term pregnancies.  Running is hard for me because even with spandex pants, my stomach giggles.  It isn't so huge, but enough to make it an unpleasant experience while I am running.  I've also been experiencing lower back pain from my abs not being strong enough; even when I was doing 30DS or other strength training activities for the abs, I felt weak there while running.

So while I looked extremely ridiculous, circa 1984, it was practical.  I am going to try to figure out getting a body shaper that has a cutout for my sports bra because the swim suit provided no support for the "sisters". 

Have you had to make some accommodations or improvisations during your fitness?

Time . . .

I came to the conclusion this morning that I can't workout consistently if I don't exercise at 5 a.m.  There is no other time in my day, nor am I physically and emotionally capable of forcing myself to workout but at 5 a.m.  And as painful as that time is, I have to bite the bullet and do it.

I have to write out my daily routine in my calendar.  I have to set up the room.  I have to have the DVD in the player.  I have to set out my clothes.  I have to set the alarm for 4:45 a.m. I have to get up when said alarm rings at 4:45 a.m.  I have to drag my sorry butt down the stairs.  I have to get the workout in. 

School starts on Wednesday of next week.  I am on vacation.  But I can no longer be on a vacation from my fitness.  I took a pause this afternoon, after feeling a panic attack set in; pain in my back, feeling of agitation, fearfullness.  During that pause, I realized that I hadn't had a panic attack since last year.  Why?  Because I started working out.  I made a plan for myself.  I set up a routine to run a race.

Exercise has been a natural drug to combat the anxiety and depression that I get from time to time.  The panic attack came on today because my son acted horribly at the mall.  He is mildly autistic and wouldn't take "no, I am not going to buy you a toy, candy, frozen ice cream, t-shirt" for an answer.  He became obstinate and abusive.  I felt this huge sense of helplessness.  Before he was diagnosed, I started running.  The shock and fear of his new label was minimized because I was taking care of myself physically.

I still do damage eating wise.  But I usually take comfort in the fact that I devote 45 minutes to 60 minutes to make myself stronger and build my endurance.

As difficult as it is to even think about, I will be getting up at 5 a.m. tomorrow and get on that treadmill.  Ugghhh!

What time of day do you workout?  What to you do to motivate yourself to workout?

Insanity . . .

Google Images

We returned last night from vacation.  On Friday, our last official day of vacation, in the lobby of our hotel, I saw Shaun T.  Do you know him?  Well if you watch one too many fitness program infomercials or read the posts of hardcore fitness bloggers, then you know who he is. 

I didn't talk to him, but it left an impression.  More like, " Darn it, I had every good intention on vacation to eat right and exercise (4 days of golf does not make for fitness).  I'd better get back to my program when I return home."  And that is what I intend to do. 

My 5K is on October 30.  I will start officially training for speed this week; tomorrow.  Today will be spin bike.  Yoga is in the works to loosen the tight muscles from the spinning and running.  Strength training is also important.  Shaun T's program is about explosive movements and using own body strength to increase strength.  I think getting back into a 30 Day Shred or other Jillian workouts would help me with strength training.

I get my CSA box today and will be planning meals around them this week and beyond.  I have this week off from work in order to get myself back in order.  I think a vacation from exercise and eating was the ticket to motivate me to getting back into the game. 

But I must say, my golf game has improved tremendously from this vacation.  I just wish I would have walked more.


Is there a fitness blogger, trainer, or celebrity that motivate you to fitness?

We'll be here . . .

Sun and surf for a week, but first a two day drive to . . . and then from.  I've been having some pelvic pain.  I am starting to think I must have ovarian cysts.  I've been in such discomfort with my lower back, abs, and hips.  I am hoping that I can get back into a routine of cardio exercise when I get back.  Two things I will pack.  My exercise ball (must deflate) and my yoga mat.  I want to work on my abs and some simple yoga moves.

Do you workout during vacations?  If so, what do you do?

Hungry?

I've been having some trouble lately with being inspired to exercise and eat right, simultaneously.  It is starting to become one or the other . . . but not both.  I either get into this routine of exercising really well, but overeating because I've exercised.  Or I will pack my lunches and have a hard time exercising consistently because I don't have to worry about excess calories being consumed.

I reached 200.4 lbs last week, but now I am up to 208.  How?  Because I ate the victory away.  I couldn't be happy with that loss to move forward in my goal of reaching 175 by January 1.  I was only 25 lbs away from my goal, but I had to throw it further from my reach. 

I read an article last night in Runner's Magazine from a new runner.  The author wrote about eating more because, "heck, I'm a runner."  Well, the author was running about a mile at first and then 2 miles, but eating as if 12 miles were run.  The author discussed this with a doctor who happened to be at a lacrosse game, and the doctor stated that despite the hunger generated by running, it is sometimes okay to be hungry.  The doctor had just run 12 miles that morning and didn't eat breakfast, and he was hungry--and he was okay with that.  What?  That goes against everything I read about eating right and refueling, and my muscles needing fuel to rebuild, strengthen and prepare for the next exercise activity. 

I eat like I run 12 miles everyday.  I know that I don't do 12 miles in a week.  I don't do anything extra in my fitness that necessitates more calories.  I feel like an athlete, but I am not an athlete who has burned thousands of calories.  I eat for every excuse, good or bad.

I've already finished Women, Food and God and I know why I am overeating (bills, stress, job, children, husband, house, bills, no money, bills; yep, that seems to be the majority of my issues), I just don't know how to seriously drop the hammer and stop myself.  How do I force myself to take back control when I know I shouldn't indulge.  I rationalize everything.  "Well, I can have that small, soy latte with 6 sugars with the cream cheese/chocolate chip muffin because I did 67 minutes on the Spin bike (I actually did exercise that much last night) and will exercise today!"  Haven't you read this before?  I know I've written it before. 

I have issues.  I am not sure if there is truly a rock bottom moment for me.  Or an event that is causing me to take this more seriously.  I read all these amazing weight loss blogs with all the dramatic before and after pics.  I want that.  But how bad?  Not bad enough, apparently.  My coworker has lost 17 lbs since starting her efforts, but she got the rude wake up call of being borderline diabetic.  Her husband has lost 27 lbs in a couple of months because he was diagnosed with high cholesterol and blood pressure.  He has been biking 10 miles daily and going for walks with her, while cutting back on food.  We went for a walk today.  She'd already exercised this morning.  I used to do that.  I will exercise tonight because it was in my schedule.  I will try to control my eating today because I prepacked my food. But I don't know how long I will keep this up. 

This is what I plan to do, moving forward from today.  Take all this with a grain of salt, please.

• I will still workout or be active daily.  
• I will still try to eat right.  
• I will now start to allow myself to be a little "hungry".
• This won't be an all or nothing because I know I am flawed.  
• I will try to be happier all the while doing the above.

How do you get past the "hunger" (that isn't truly a hunger, but a need to satisfy something else)?