Running Start . . .

It is difficult to start this blog. I've had a love-hate relationship with my body. I've loved to stuff it with food. And I've hated the results that come with stuffing it with all the wrong things, and not moving my body enough to naturally burn the excess. In June of 2009, I decided to train for a 5K to be run in October. I ran that race and finished third to last. I've lost about 14 lbs. But there is a problem.

I have 55 lbs to lose. I call myself a "fat athlete", but the truth is. I am just fat. I fake the funk. I exercise in the mornings, but I eat more calories than I burn. I still have issues with committment. I'm afraid of actually winning the fight against fat. I haven't hit rock bottom because I kid myself into thinking I am comfortable and safe to be this way.

I am hoping to lose the weight that I gained within the last 15 years since first losing 75 lbs during the summer before my junior year at University. And I am hoping that I commit to losing the 55 lbs. I can't blame it on having babies. I usually lost that weight within a few months.

The goal is to lose the weight through consistent exercises that I enjoy, such as running, circuit training, and Yoga; preparing and packing my daily meals and snacks; and journaling my journey. I want to allow myself to misstep, but I won't allow myself to give up. I am hoping that this blog can help me stop stuffing my feelings.